Just as an FYI, you should know that this post is sponsored by DrinkWise Australia. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100% authentic and written in their own words.
My problem (or maybe it’s a blessing, I’m not sure?) with having a child when I was in my early ‘20s is that now that she’s become a teen, I am still young enough to remember EXACTLY what I was getting up to at 15 years old.
Not only what I was getting up to, but what I was getting away with behind my mother’s back. Now, I like to think I’m cooler and more approachable than my mother was at the same time, but when it all boils down to it, peer pressure is the same in any decade and with the rise of social media, perhaps now it’s even worse.
We’ve had the discussion about drinking because (have I mentioned?) I’m approachable and cool. Me saying those two things probably makes me neither, but I digress. But I have attempted the casual conversations with her, usually on our way into school and work. The whole, ‘look, you’re going to drink and have sex, it’s just the way it is’. I have watched her mortified face drop and ask me why on earth I was doing this to her.
As far as sex goes though, I have had a more serious conversation, making sure that two things are abundantly clear: 1) Always be sure that SHE wants to do it and 2) always use protection.
This conversation wasn’t particularly well received and sure, she acted like I’d just handed her her first training bra, but I think I got through. The message was that I know she’ll do it, I just want her to have a good, safe experience when she does.
Then comes drinking. This is actually a harder one to tackle. When we started discussing this, I told her about my first time drinking. How I’d gotten so rotten drunk, purely to experiment, that is was not only pointless – it was really dangerous.
When I’ve started the conversation with my daughter, who is starting to attend parties where the parents are conspicuously absent and there is booze readily available, she tells me she’s not interested in drinking. I counter this with, well, I almost think it would be better for you and your friends to have a bottle of something at home, before you go, rather than there and with God knows what. She is adamant that she’s not interested in it.
But here’s the thing I know that she doesn’t.
Alcohol is a great social lubricator. And what she doesn’t understand (and what she will with her first experience) is that when she tries it, although she more than likely won’t like the taste (especially if she’s drinking classy cask wine like I did), she may well like the side effect that it has on her. The one that allows her to talk freely to a boy she’s had a crush on for months but has never quite worked up the courage to approach. Or the feeling it gives her when she hears her favourite song. How liberating it is to be so uninhibited. And once she discovers that, well, all bets are off.
So if I’m quite honest, it’s not the sneaky Bacardi Breezer down at the park with her mates that I’m worried about, it’s the lengths she may go to to be accepted or to keep up.
Because I can be as cool as I want, but that doesn’t mean that when it comes to the moment, she’ll remember any of my advice.
I’m actually quite terrified about what comes next and feel completely out of my depth. And I’d really like your help or advice.
How do you talk to your kids about alcohol, sex and parties?
For more information on teen drinking and strategies to delay introduction for as long as possible, visit the DrinkWise website.
DrinkWise aims to create a healthier and safer drinking culture in Australia by developing a range of national education campaigns that promote responsible alcohol consumption.
DEBRIEF DAILY